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Oedipus on the mountain

Cate Blanchett at the end of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Every cheap horror movie ever made apparently

Why doesn't the New Yorker post my sappy live journal entries that can't decide on a tense and make awkward comparisons, like newborn puppies to kidney beans?




Newbery Medal 2013!!Collapse )

GirlsCollapse )

Quickie Movie ReviewsCollapse )

I like these random entries of random shit, and I don't really care if you do or not but I should write them more!

Les Miserables

I've been toying over the idea of this entry for a while, and now that I have two other things I should be working on, and I'm making a sort of half-assed attempt in the New Year to write more even if no one gives a shit about what I have to say, I thought it would be a good time to write it.

A Love Affair with Les MiserablesCollapse )

Anyway, that's my Ode to Les Miserables. I love this story and I always will and now you can all rightfully call me crazy because of it :) Also, if you want to watch the 1998 version, you can rent it there on YouTube for $2.99 or buy it for $9.99, same prices on Amazon. Or you can just, you know, download it.
I'm sure this will be a longer entry later but I just wanted to make sure everyone who has not yet absconded for greener pastures knows this about the latest Twilight movie.
The internet is a scary place. And I don't just mean that in the moral-outrage, media-panic way that the news cashes in on. I mean that in a more subtle way. I mean, sure, the internet fosters pedophiles, scammers, hackers, other people who aim to exploit the naive. But even to the weathered, battle-hardened internet denizens like me, the internet is scary.

Seriously, you guys, I've never been more ashamed of something I'm not really even involved withCollapse )

Car updateCollapse )


So I just had a thought and it's too long for a tweet so I thought I'd put it here!

I was rereading old tweets, actually, because I've convinced myself that the most efficient way to improve myself is to wallow in my own glib cleverness, but two days ago I watched the little sneak-preview of this new show on NBC, Revolution.

Now, I have kind of an intimate relationship with this show, because when I worked at my internship where I had access to ALL of the new TV pilot scripts, this was one of the only ones I actually managed to read. Why didn't I read more? I DON'T KNOW, BUT THE REASON SEEMS TO BE A RECURRING PROBLEM. The other script I read was for Cult, and I'm actually kind of excited about that show.

Anyway, the premise of the show was that all of the electricity in the world like, stops working, and the apocalypse happens. This is a very surface-level cool idea, but the minute you start thinking about it:

1) Exactly what about the electricity has stopped working? Have we lost the ability to create and store electric power? Move it? Transform it? I mean, there's a lot of steps in the process where something can go wrong--pick one, because ALL of it going wrong leads to a few problems.

2) I don't know why I'm numbering these, but the show seems to be implying that electricity can no longer flow. There is no current anymore. EVERYTHING goes out simultaneously. Previously charged batteries no longer work, and anything that kind of runs on itself, like a Hybrid car I guess, immediately stops working.

The only way I can even fathom that all electricity simultaneously stops flowing is if electrons no longer do what electrons fucking do.

This, in turn, creates more problems:

Without moving, flowing electrons, pretty much all of chemistry stops working. I mean, that's kind of a huge thing to imagine, so just picture this, because this is literally the only thing I could concretely imagine:

If electrons can no longer flow, are no longer attracted to positive charges, then all ionic bonds cease to exist. You know where some ionic bonds exist? Salt water. You know where salt water is?

70% of the surface of planet Earth.

So, just focusing on saline, if electricity stops flowing, all negative Chlorine ions revert back to their Sodium anions. Is that right? It's been a while since I've taken chemistry. Anyway, all of the salt in the ocean reconstitutes into solid salt, leaving behind fresh water.

Can anything in the ocean survive in fresh water, besides like, river salmon?


So I mean, the show is not focusing on the huge, overarching consequences of its own premise. If electricity cannot flow--electricity, one of the four fundamental forces that comprise our universe and permit it to work--it's not just the oceans that stops working. The very fabric of our universe will start to unravel. There's this bit in one of the last parts of The Elegant Universe, which is the documentary I keep referring to so people know how smart I am, where these scientists kind of simulate universes with different universal constants. Different charges for electrons, different gravity constants. Even changing the CHARGE of an electron makes everything go kaput.

This show does not work.

But I was thinking about it, because it is an interesting idea, from a sociological standpoint. What would happen if society suddenly had to revert back to a previous state of technological advancement? I mean, there are SOME cool ideas in the show. There are more really dumb ideas than cool ideas (another tangent--it seems the writer or creators or whoever wanted to include badass medieval fighting, but forgot that guns don't use electricity to discharge. Now, I'm not sure about semi- or fully-automatic guns, but fucking hammer and trigger revolvers? Nah son. Not all technological advancements require electricity), but apocalypses in general are cool because it's fun to imagine what human society is like without the society.

The problem is, the vast majority of the history of human society DIDN'T HAVE ACCESS TO FUCKING ELECTRICITY. SHIT, SOME STILL DOESN'T.

So it wouldn't be an apocalypse, per se. It would be more...time traveling.

And I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it because now it's sort of an interesting idea.

Because like, we humans have risen to a certain level of comfort due to the conveniences and economic growth that electricity has granted. Think of farming. Thanks to automated irrigation and huge fucking combines and shit, a very small amount of people can tend the food that will feed a hell of a lot more.

Without electricity, though, you're going to have to revert to some prior technologies to sustain that level of comfort.

Why not slavery?

Here's a cool idea.

I hate to say it, because fuck anyone who thinks white men are responsible for everything our collective society has earned, but our recent civil rights movements, including THE civil rights movement, feminism, even gay acceptance, are all kind of made possible by the fact that there's just shit we don't have to worry about anymore. No one has a family farm anymore. No one has to sew their own clothes or darn their own socks. Economies of scale have unambiguously IMPROVED our lives.

If all that is taken away, how do humans react? Do we revert back to some of our more shameful practices? Are women sent back to the kitchen? Do we start segregating society out of convenience or some misguided anger? And what if it's not the same demographics that are oppressed? What if white men get BLAMED for the power going out? What if, rather than some ambiguous "militia" who had to outlaw handguns because the creators forgot that guns don't run on electricity wasn't made of powerful white men, LIKE ALWAYS, but of minorities who were sick of the shit that their oppressors had done to them for thousands of years, culminating in that fucking tragedy?

And just think about the tension between losing electronic things and still having other technological advancements that DON'T run on electricity. I mean, I'm no scientist, but nuclear warheads are...nuclear, right? That threat looming over everything, in addition to watching humans adapt electronic technologies to running on other things...I mean, it's an energy crisis of the most urgent. That would be an interesting thought experiment to watch.

I don't know. There's nothing I fucking hate more than a missed opportunity. I'm craving a well-thought out apocalypse. I thought it might be Walking Dead but fuck that show.

The Amazing Spider-Douche

I'm sorry I've been posting so much. ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT, NO I'M NOT. I need to fucking force myself to write more even if it's just shitty stream-of-consciousness livejournal entries. I've been creatively constipated for months now and IT'S AFFECTING MY SELF-ESTEEM.

And the new Spider-Man movie came out.

Spoilers, long rants about nerd things, references to younger, more innocent days. My livejournal isn't getting like, formulaic is it?Collapse )

tl;dr, Peter Parker is a dick in this movie and I hated him and hated it.

talking about things

Okay, I haven't just talked about things in a while. It's always, "wah, my internship fired me" or "wah, my cat died." SO LET'S GO BACK TO THE BASICS, THE THINGS I LIKE DOING THAT I HAVEN'T DONE IN A LONG TIME.


So that's it. I spent more time on Avatar than I meant to, oh well. But thanks for reading my fucking War & Peace brain dump!


You guys I am still coming down. Like, holy shit. Me and Layla saw it and were basically just babbling incoherent messes stumbling out of the theater. We were like the kids in Jesus Camp, except speaking in even MORE tongues. WORSHIP AT THE ALTAR OF MARVEL FOR IT WILL NOT ABANDON YOU.


The Hunger Games

You know, I'd forgotten that I've been looking forward to this movie for months. I'd forgotten that I cared when they cast it, I'd forgotten that each newly released publicity photo sent a pleasant little chill down my spine.

This isn't a review but I don't know what else to call itCollapse )